Kill or be killed….it’s your choice.

Posted by on Sep 29, 2014 in Blog | 2 comments

Mary McEvilly Life Coaching“If you don’t fire someone,” said my boss, “I’ll have to come in and fire YOU.”

I had heard about those types of threats in Corporate America, but had never been accosted by one before.  I was dumbfounded, not by the idea of having to fire someone, but because there wasn’t a good business reason to do it.  I was being TOLD that it wouldn’t LOOK GOOD if every other business unit fired someone and I didn’t.  Even though I had whittled my headcount down by eliminating vacated positions in lieu of terminating valuable employees, I was clearly being given an ultimatum of the worse kind…. kill or be killed…. your choice…


For reasons unbeknownst to most of us, we know in the recesses of our souls when we are not where we should be.   We know we no longer fit.  We are aware of the discomfort yet we continue.  Like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, we repeat the cycle…day after day….week after week… you go to your  soul sucking job, your dead-end career, your passionless relationship in the two bicycle town you live in.  If we know we are unhappy then why don’t we do anything about it? 


Sometimes there are very good reasons to stay put: like a mortgage to pay, kids to raise, college to save for, cars to buy, clothes to shop for, handbags and watches to collect, vacations to take and 60 inch televisions to finance……hey…..wait a minute, why are we buying 60” TV sets and Rolex watches? 


I can’t speak for you but in my case, I dealt with the stress of my soul sucking job with THINGS.  They made me Happy.  I deserved it right?  I worked hard, long hours, endured demanding bosses and endless stress….the least I could do was give myself a gift….right?


But the joy and the rush that I received from purchasing  a Cartier watch or a Channel handbag was short-lived.  The bar kept being raised.  I needed MULTIPLE high end watches, designer handbags and shoes.  The debt I incurred as I piled on the THINGS was part of why I had to stay put for so long…….


Maybe you don’t deal with workplace stress like I did.  Perhaps you don’t overspend or overeat, but rather spend more time with the computer or in front of the television than you do with loved ones or friends.  No matter how you slice it, when you do too much of anything, including work, you are not experiencing a balanced life which is stressful in and of itself.


…When will it ever end?


It ends when you say it ends.  And the steps that you take to end it do not include flipping off your boss and walking out of your job.  Nor should you walk away from any situation without completely weighing the consequences. 


But you can start slowly. You make a plan B.  Now.  Right now.  You can stop numbing yourself with your extra income and begin to stash it away for the day that you decide to take the plunge.  You can figure out who and what makes you really happy and make a plan and a commitment to include more of it in your life.


Now,  write down the answers to the questions below and then put them away. Go back and look at them tomorrow and then daily.  Post them in a place where you see them frequently.. 


1.    If money were no object, what would I be doing with my life?

2.   What 5 things and or activities in life bring me joy? How can I do them more?

3.   Who has a job or career that I have always wished I had? What is it?

4.   What keeps me from trying something new?

5.    Who are the people that I can’t live without? 

6.   What gives meaning to my life?


When you’ve finished, congratulate yourself for having taken the first step to improving your life.  Because its live well  or don’t live well……your choice.



Purposeful Work and Fulfilling Career 2


  1. Wow, you really put your heart into this piece. I almost flipped my boss off when I resigned, LOL!!! You have great planning strategies here, THANK YOU Mary!

    • Thanks for your comment Heidi!

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